Heart Beat Down

“There have been so many times I have seen a man wanting to weep but instead beat his heart until it was unconscious.”

"If someone does not want me it is not the end of the world. But if I do not want me, the world is nothing but endings."

— Nayyirah Waheed

Do Unto Others...

Don's Personal Platinum Principle:
'Wherever and whenever you can safely do it, treat others as they would wish to be treated.'

I wish for you ALL the GOOD things you wish for yourself AND sincerely hope I can, without harming myself, help you to achieve them.

'The golden rule'
The Bible's original Greek: Καθώς θέλετε ίνα ποιώσιν υμίν οι άνθρωποι και υμείς ποιείτε αυτοίς ομοίως. (Luke 6:31)

It is commonly translated as:  “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.”

The Mosaic law contains a parallel commandment: “Whatever is hurtful to you, do not do to any other person.”

Both are flawed when examined in reality!

The Platinum Rule

"It turns out, though, that the Golden Rule has an inherent flaw in it. It presumes that others are just like us, that they would be satisfied with exactly the same treatment we would enjoy.

People just aren’t that simple.

When you’ve done a great job on a work project, you might really appreciate a gift card from Starbucks as a token of appreciation for your efforts. Since that is something you’d enjoy, you might consider giving me a Starbucks card if I, too, had worked hard on a project for you. But since I don’t drink coffee and I don’t care much for pastries, maybe a Starbucks gift card isn’t right for me. In this example, doing unto others what you would have others do unto you falls short of expressing your genuine appreciation in a way that uplifts me and makes me feel special.

A different standard may be in order. I’ve heard it called The Platinum Rule (since it is worth more than gold). The Platinum Rule says we should do unto others the way they want us to do unto them. In other words, you have to treat people the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to be treated. That requires a little more effort.

When it comes to rewarding me, for example, you’d have to find out that a handwritten note of appreciation is something I will treasure for years to come. An expression of your sincere gratitude and the thoughtfulness of a card would be worth so much more to me than any gift card. That personalization is my definition of platinum.

But every individual is different. So rewarding, recognizing or simply treating others the way they would choose does require more thought. It involves being observant, actively listening, caring enough to ask about preferences. When we over-rely on our preferences, we often miss giving others what they want, need or deserve.

Think about relationships and you’ll probably be able to see this more clearly. When you have two people in a relationship, they can both feel minimized even when they are both trying to apply The Golden Rule. He loves to hear compliments and so he showers praise on her. But she feels it is insincere because she just wants to be listened to and isn’t getting that need met. And the reverse is happening simultaneously – she is trying with all her might to give her full attention and listen to him, but he’s just saying the same things over and over again in an attempt to get a much-needed compliment. If this couple knew and used The Platinum Rule, they could both be less stressed, both could get their needs met, and both would feel more satisfied in the relationship.

It all starts with setting a new standard. Try it with just one person. Make it a point to find out how they would like to be treated. Adjust and treat them differently, even if you do not understand or would not find what they’ve described to be personally appealing.

Watch what happens when you apply The Platinum Rule. You may see a rise in your own value as you apply this higher value standard." - This blog post was originally published on February 23, 2013, and was selected for the CONNECT! Community’s series on Connecting by Caring.https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/the-platinum-rule-2 

Dominican Parsley Peril

Parsley
BY RITA DOVE

1. The Cane Fields

There is a parrot imitating spring
in the palace, its feathers parsley green.   
Out of the swamp, the cane appears

to haunt us, and we cut it down. El General   
searches for a word; he is all the world   
there is. Like a parrot imitating spring,

we lie down screaming as rain punches through   
and we come up green. We cannot speak an R—
out of the swamp, the cane appears

and then the mountain we call in whispers Katalina.
The children gnaw their teeth to arrowheads.   
There is a parrot imitating spring.

El General has found his word: perejil.
Who says it, lives. He laughs, teeth shining   
out of the swamp. The cane appears

in our dreams, lashed by wind and streaming.   
And we lie down. For every drop of blood   
there is a parrot imitating spring.
Out of the swamp the cane appears.


2. The Palace

The word the general’s chosen is parsley.   
It is fall, when thoughts turn
to love and death; the general thinks
of his mother, how she died in the fall
and he planted her walking cane at the grave   
and it flowered, each spring stolidly forming   
four-star blossoms. The general

pulls on his boots, he stomps to
her room in the palace, the one without   
curtains, the one with a parrot
in a brass ring. As he paces he wonders   
Who can I kill today. And for a moment   
the little knot of screams
is still. The parrot, who has traveled

all the way from Australia in an ivory   
cage, is, coy as a widow, practising   
spring. Ever since the morning   
his mother collapsed in the kitchen   
while baking skull-shaped candies   
for the Day of the Dead, the general   
has hated sweets. He orders pastries   
brought up for the bird; they arrive

dusted with sugar on a bed of lace.   
The knot in his throat starts to twitch;   
he sees his boots the first day in battle   
splashed with mud and urine
as a soldier falls at his feet amazed—
how stupid he looked!— at the sound
of artillery. I never thought it would sing   
the soldier said, and died. Now

the general sees the fields of sugar   
cane, lashed by rain and streaming.   
He sees his mother’s smile, the teeth   
gnawed to arrowheads. He hears   
the Haitians sing without R’s
as they swing the great machetes:   
Katalina, they sing, Katalina,

mi madle, mi amol en muelte. God knows   
his mother was no stupid woman; she   
could roll an R like a queen. Even   
a parrot can roll an R! In the bare room   
the bright feathers arch in a parody   
of greenery, as the last pale crumbs
disappear under the blackened tongue. Someone

calls out his name in a voice
so like his mother’s, a startled tear
splashes the tip of his right boot.
My mother, my love in death.
The general remembers the tiny green sprigs   
men of his village wore in their capes   
to honor the birth of a son. He will
order many, this time, to be killed

for a single, beautiful word.

Notes:
On October 2, 1937, Rafael Trujillo (1891-1961), dictator of the Dominican Republic, ordered 20,000 blacks killed because they could not pronounce the letter “r” in perejil, the Spanish word for parsley.

Networking is Farming

When you love what you do, the networking part of your work is never a chore, it's part of what you do 'ToBeMe'. Whatever your business or career, in the connected world we live in everyone is a networker.  For those who have that natural affinity with people, it's a small step to leverage that talent for networking and integrate it into business as usual.
For those of us who are natural introverts, it can be a challenge to accept networking as a life skill for everyone and not a work skill for salespeople.

If you really love what you do, the networking part of your work can be a fun part of what you do 'ToBeMe'.
As you develop your networking skills, and they are learnable skills, you will equally develop a natural ease that will bring networking it into your daily interactions... in and out of work.

Be careful though, as you successfully master 24/7 networking, sharing what you are passionate about easily becomes an unconscious, effortless even addictive habit, sit next to a Villa fan on a long train journey for proof.
The point is, what you have to offer does not have to be restricted to the office, or the endless round of networking events, there are opportunities to share and be of service with people all around you, all the time.

Being more considerate [extrovert homework] and competent [introvert homework] will help you smoothly blend the modern way of working into your lifestyle, connecting with new clients wherever you go.  Sensible, sensitive networking, done with, ease and authenticity will supercharge your success.

'Networking is more about farming than it is about hunting. It's about cultivating relationships.' - Dr Ivan Misner the Founder & Chief Visionary Officer of BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization.

TOCD

The Alchemy of Dreams

The Alchemy of Dreams

Dreams while they appear, to promise, the ability to carry, the most incredible, unbelievable and empowering imaginings
Across the mysterious river of intangible impossible faith, into the common scheme of everyday things, on gossamer wings
Regularly, they seem to me, to be such fragile tenuous things

Dreams examined from a certain viewpoint appear as pale, weak and hollow constructs
The dream constantly struggling with existing beliefs to maintain itself in the mind of one or an enlightened few
The dream is often driven out of consciousness, its version of truth ridiculed and branded… impossible… 
Belief in its impossibility soon withers the dream
It may quickly become less than a strand of a reflection of a shadow waiting to be reborn and re-revealed
In different minds or from other's thoughts.

Dreams shared by the majority are rarely long-lived
The journey into familiarity weakens not the dream but respect for the dream And the same miracle through regular occurrence encourages faith to take on habit
And habits design themselves to be comfortable and unquestioning, promoting, in turn, a pleasant dreamless sleep.

Dreams can lose their power to motivate, to move into action, as they are shared and accepted.
Imagination not driven by wonder and risk may rest in the pleasures and security of faithlessness, doubt and idle questioning
And fail to ignite the questing to realise the dream.

Dreams, though, however threadbare, rare and distant
Throughout history have proved themselves resilient and persistent.
Hope has been, time and time again, revived and anchored in the stuff of dreams.

The leader and the dreamer when they become one, defy all odds, working together to fashion the future of, from and for our Dreams. 
- TOCD

Knowledge, Understanding and Wisdom

“The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding. We are swimming in the former. We are desperately lacking in the latter.”
― Malcolm Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking

Wisdom is the ability to express good judgement based on sound knowledge.
Understanding is the ability to understand the information that forms one's knowledge and creates choices.
The accurate application of knowledge is power, wisdom is the discipline to choose to use or apply that power wisely.

Therefore:
“The key to good decision making is not knowledge and not even understanding. It is WISDOM. We are swimming in KNOWLEDGE.  Some of us understand enough to seek UNDERSTANDING.  The key to good/great decision making is in fact WISDOM, which we are desperately lacking as a society as we protect the masses from the greatest teacher of wisdom... the experience of FAILURE!” ― TOCD


Fail... Learn
Fail Fast... Learn Quickly
Fail Often... Learn Lots
Fail Uniquely... Use what you Learn to proactively prevent the madness of repeating what doesn't work!

A Lifetime Being PC and Never PC

A Lifetime Being PC and Never PC

Paul Always Unconditionally Loving. Creativity Alongside Discipline, Manifesting Abundance, Naturally
Adversities embraced as stepping stones, and each new challenge yet another door to opportunity
Unlike the many who dream and dream and stay asleep, inspired by his vision he wakes each day ready to achieve
Love for him is not a noun, a name, a badge the weak pin on, to stake a claim to unearned respect and loyalty 
Crafted with consideration and forged in the fires of personal pain and the Joy of true friendship is his giant ability
And amazing facility, to give first and foremost, offering an open hand to help and a guileless heart that shares, and freely 
Don't for one moment confuse the softly spoken words or unassuming manner as a cue, to risk-taking the slightest liberty
Men who persevere,  unswerving in their purpose, unshakeable in their passion, are best and safest, treated with the utmost civility 
A long-time will pass and many miles be covered in SEEKING his like again, and that is if it even exists in this reality 
Never ever doubt the enormous value of the genius who looks at the same picture as the others, but sees things so very differently 

TOCD

Time Ownership...

There are so many books, articles, ideas, etc, that have been written around time management.

It seems to me that time management is an interesting, and probably oxymoronic concept.
An oxymoron being, a rhetorical device that uses an ostensible self-contradiction to illustrate a rhetorical point or to reveal a paradox.
If we use the definition of time as, 'the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole', it could be argued strongly that we cannot take from it, add to it, or indeed manage it.

It is however quite useful to schedule, model, map out and otherwise structure our time, as long as we remember the old Yiddish saying “Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht”, “Man Plans, and God Laughs.” and remind ourselves that our most careful planning is at best a fond hope and at worst a dangerous conceit.

And as we approach the end of the decade... 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rblt2EtFfC4 

Prince's 'Party like it's 1999' is 20 years out of date :-0 

... each day, month, and year increasingly streams [or screams] by faster and faster, packed with more and more 'stuff' than the one before, time management and task prioritisation become essential keys to sanity, control and ownership of our life choices.
The 'Zig Ziglar' choice, in a world full of uncertainty, controversy and confusion, between being a 'wandering generality' bouncing from shiny object to shiny object, or being a 'meaningful specific'  aiming purposefully toward a life you want instead of being swept away by the life you're given by marketers,
organised, focused and on schedule to achieve what really matters to you and to live the life you want and choose to live.

Take a reverent and respectful look at your paper diary or calendar app and ensure you use colours or symbols as keys to highlight and prioritise what you really really want to happen, what must be done to guarantee your life ambition(s), the things that have to be done before anything else. 

When you consciously value your time, you will move beyond time management to Time Ownership. You will proactively and assertively control and balance the activities in your life, moving you out of the passenger seat, to sit behind the steering wheel of the vehicle of your life!

#OwnYourGame 
#ToBeMe...

Believe in You!

You’ve got to believe in God and you’ve got to believe in Family and Friends.
You’ve got to believe in the possibilities.
You’ve got to believe in abundance.
You’ve got to believe that tomorrow will be better than today.
Here’s the one that really changes the Game....
You've got to believe in yourself.
Believe in all the skills you've learned.
Believe in your self-discipline to master your business discipline
There isn’t a class you can’t teach in your subject
There isn’t a book written, better than the one you write
You've got to believe in you... because...
Only you truly know how good you are!

3 Treasures

In Chinese Medicine, the concept of the Three Treasures, known as Jing, Qi and Shen is based on the principle that everything is a manifestation of changing states of energy.

'I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.' Lao Tzu

The Essence of Jing is Simplicity
'Simple can be harder than complex. You have to work hard to get your thinking clean, to make it simple. But it's worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.' Steve Jobs

The Energy of Qi is Patience
'Patience is not passive, on the contrary, it is concentrated strength.' Bruce Lee

The Spirit of Shen is Compassion

'Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.' - Andrew Boyd

Manifest Miracles Everyday

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” - Aristotle

“The most Excellent habit is to deliberately identify empowering Habits and commit the time and relentless effort to make them into Rituals” - TOCD

We create HABITS when behaviour we have repeated regularly and consistently enough ‘train’ our brain to make them unintentional, automatic and unconscious. Habits are then initiated, i.e. ‘thoughtlessly’ triggered, by a particular, eventually invisible, cue.

Time and ‘oligodendrocytes make’ the connection between the trigger and the habit more ingrained and irresistible.Increase in stress triggers smoking a cigarette, waking up triggers drinking coffee, a trip to the grocery store triggers buying a sweet treat, starting a meeting at work triggers frustration and boredom, etc. etc...

In contrast, ROUTINES require a higher degree of intention, effort and deliberate practice. Drinking 500ml of clean water first thing after waking in the morning, going to the gym at 6am 3 days a week, sitting down for lunch with family every Sunday, meditating before going to sleep every night, these are all routines. Routines require noticeable effort to keep on consciously practising them. Routines are too counterintuitive and ‘unnatural’ to become habits!   Your brain will not go into automatic mode and unconsciously drive you to Yoga class once a week on Thursday after a tough day at work. That’s why our ‘good intention’ routines eventually fail and disappear or require external intervention in order to maintain them [personal; trainer, therapist, coach, etc.].With enough time, up to 10,000 hours, and right actions, we notice and become physically and emotionally attached to the benefits/results of our routines and they become RITUALS.Rituals are, in the truest sense, a religious, solemn and unchanging series of actions or type of behaviour regularly and invariably followed by someone.Creating your own rituals is never an automatic, unconscious process. You need emotional resilience, serious desire and the perseverance to meet and work through the inevitable challenges, in order to establish your personal mystical ritual. once established you will manifest miracles of health, strength wealth and wellbeing every day in your life.
 Do you think you don’t have any rituals in your life?
‘We are, at almost every point of our day, immersed in cultural diversity: faces, clothes, smells, attitudes, values, traditions, behaviours, beliefs, rituals.’ -  Randa Abdel-FattahPS
Over 10,000 hours of deliberate practice and your Rituals happen in a state referred to as FLOW.

You Control You!

In any given situation, speaking, presenting or otherwise.  Concentrate and focus on what you control.

You may not be able to control your audience to guarantee they will say 'yes', however, you can control; your delivery, your level of interest in their story, your reactions, your rebuttals, your facial expressions, and your active listening.

You control you!

And it is a rare occasion where that is not more than enough.

Do not be amazed

'Do not be amazed at what I do, I am an ordinary man, I have simply disciplined myself through extraordinary suffering.' - Saenchai, Muay Thai Giant Slayer
https://youtu.be/a0jwl9GP0VA